BODY LANGUAGE

Ellery was dancing and wiggling as she asked me a question.

"Do you need to go to the bathroom?" I asked.

"No," she replied.

"Then why are you standing like that?" I wondered.

"This is just my happy stand," was the answer.

YOU ARE WHEN YOU EAT

Ellery: I'm never going to eat after an ape.

Monica: Why not?

Ellery: I DON'T KNOW!! Maybe it will be a trap?

CHRISTMAS EDITION

While riding in the car playing Christmas trivia:

Mom: What did the three wise men bring as a gift for Jesus?

Ellery: A pony!

While jumping on Mom and Dad's bed after opening her stocking:

"This is the best Christmas ever!"

After returning home on Christmas day:

Ellery: This is going to change my life forever!

Mom: What?

Ellery: This! (patting the Dora hopping ball that Corin and Josh gave her) Forever.

While cuddling on the couch with Mom:

Mom: Will you sit on my lap?

Ellery: Why?

Mom: Because I'm cold.

Ellery: (in a longsuffering tone) Okay. Just this once.

Driving to Thanksgiving Dinner we suddenly hear an outburst of triumphant and diabolical laughter coming from the back seat, "HA HA HA HA HA!"

"What?" I asked Ellery.

"Oh nothing," she answered mysteriously.

NOT YOU, CONTINUED

Ellery: What letter do you like best?

Mom: I like them all.

Ellery: In all the world, what is your favorite?

Mom: Well, in the Russian alphabet, there's a letter that sounds like "shch."

Ellery: What is the name of that letter?

Mom: I don't know.

Ellery: Maybe Valnat?

NOT YOU

In the car:

Ellery: I love you.

Mom: I love you too!

Ellery: No, I meant the letter U.

THE JACKET ALWAYS COMPLETES THE OUTFIT

Ellery was getting dressed for school. She had on a light pink shirt, light pink pants, pink socks and boots and a pink bow in her hair. We were debating about the sweater. I couldn't find the dark pink sweater that would match the dark pink boots. I found a brown sweater and then a pink and brown sweat jacket.

She had on the sweat jacket when she spied the fuzzy pink coat. "I'll wear that!" she exclaimed happily. As she discarded the inferior jacket, she muttered to it under her breath, "Goodbye, loser!"

NO ONE LIKES A DIRTY MIND

Ellery: My brain is clean.

Mom: What do you mean?

Ellery: The top section is "Food I Like." (She had just discovered something new she liked to add to this section--garlic bread.)

The middle section is "Colors I Like." Did you know I like green now?

Mom: Oh! That's interesting.

Ellery: Most people's brains are all messy but mine is organized.

WHAT GREG SAYS

In the car, on the way to IHOP:

Greg: One time my brother stopped believing in God but then he got sent to bed early and he started believing in God again.

I'M SURE YOU'RE WONDERING WHY I'VE CALLED YOU ALL HERE...

We were at the pumpkin patch with Ellery's Girl Scout troop. We were part of a group of a dozen or so girl scouts and parents navigating the corn maze. At a corn crossroads, we paused to wait for the rest of the group to catch up. Once everyone straggled up, Ellery asked, "Now that we're all here--what are we doing here?"

SOMEWHERE AN INDIAN IS CRYING

Ellery: Somebody glittered.

Mom: (looking around for extra sparkle) Where?

Ellery: Right there (pointing at a wrapper on the ground). Somebody is a glitterbug.

THE KNEE BONE'S CONNECTED TO THE...

Ellery: My ankle hurts.

Mom: What hurts?

Ellery. My ankle. You know, my foot wrist?

HAVE IT YOUR WAY

Ellery: Mom will you make me a jelly sandwich, cut it into thirds, and I will just eat the top left hand corner?

Mom: No! I'm not going to make you a sandwich if you're not going to eat it.

Ellery: (resignedly) Okay. I'll eat the other corners.

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW

Ellery and I attended a meeting about kindergarten. It was mostly information about how they have so many kindergarteners that they're adding a third class. I had prepped Ellery about how when there was someone up in front talking, we needed to listen politely. There was a question and answer time and, after the principal had asked several times if there were any more questions, Ellery raised her hand. I pulled it back down and asked her in a whisper what her question was.

"I was just going to ask if we could be done listening to her," she replied.

STOP THE SPREAD OF GERMS

Ellery has had a cold and we've been trying to get her to cover her cough. She knows about covering her mouth with her hand and coughing into her elbow. The other night when Glenn got home, she told him excitedly, "I found a new place to cough so no one gets my germs! Under your desk!"

The next day, she discovered that she could spare those around her exposure to her germs by coughing into her shoe.

RANKINGS

Ellery: Pepperoni is number one in real life.

Mom: What's number two?

Ellery: (thoughtful pause) Love.

CAN'T ARGUE WITH DESTINY

Ellery: I'm putting all my Polly Pockets in a dungeon.

Mom: Oh no!

Ellery: It's just their fate.

JUST WARNING YOU

Ellery: Mom, if you see a fishing pole attached to an umbrella...RUN!

OH, THAT'S WHY

Ellery: Mom, I'm so wobbly because I went to sleep and I felt this wobbly feeling of mine.

WHAT WAS I SAYING?

Ellery woke up crying in the night. I took her to the bathroom and as I was tucking her back into bed, she said sleepily, "Uh, Mom? Can I ask you something?"

...long, drowsy pause...

"I really like pink."

CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR

Emily:  Ellery, I was at the library today and I saw some books about kindergarten.  I almost got them for you.

Ellery:  Oh!  That was almost so sweet of you!

SIZE MATTERS

Ellery is always looking for an excuse to get out of bed.  The other night, she came out and said plaintively, "Guys, my hand is itchy." 

"Well, scratch it!" I replied.

"I can't scratch it with these little fingers!" she retorted indignantly.

I gave it a good scratch with my big fingers, she gave a contented sigh, and headed back to bed.

HEAVEN ON EARTH

Ellery was going to visit Grandma Vi and said in anticipation, "Mom, you know what I like about going to Grandma's house?"

"No, what?" I replied.

Ellery's eyes looked dreamily off in the distance and her voice took on a tone of wonderment as if she were anticipating a trip to Fairyland.  "She never makes me clean!" she marveled.  "I always make a mess and I never have to clean it up!"

TAKE THIS DOWN

Ellery:  Mom, will you write something down for me?

Mom:  Sure, what is it?

Ellery:  It's a list of what I need to make my new invention.

Mom:  Okay.  Go ahead.

Ellery:  - a mystery part,

- I really, really need some bandages in case it breaks,

- a cup with juice in it,

- a ball.

IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING

We were on our way to Bixby's faraway birthday party.  Ellery was already disconsolate due to receiving four shots the previous day.  After we'd been driving for almost an hour, she asked her sister woefully, "Liz?  Are we in the middle of nowhere?"

"Yes, Ellery.  Yes we are."

"That's my problem!" she burst out in despair.

GOTTA HAVE FAITH

After I nagged Ellery to clean up her clutter one too many times:

Ellery:  Did you hear me praying?

Mom:  No.  What were you praying about?

Ellery:  I was praying that you would like messes.

BRAIN POWER

The garage door was not working properly and Glenn was working on fixing it.  It was time for me to go.  I headed out to the garage and Ellery said, "You can't go!  The door doesn't work!"

"Oh no!" I replied.  "What should I do?"

"I don't know," said Ellery.

"Can you think of an idea?" I asked.

"Okay, I'll try," she said.  "I'm going to think big!  You'd better stand back."

IN MY OWN SWEET TIME

Glenn was urging Ellery to get ready for bed and she was, as usual, distracted by many things on the way to the bathroom to brush her teeth.  As Glenn kept directing her to the job at hand, Ellery said reproachfully, "In all my life, I have never heard someone so bossy!"

INNOVATIONS

"Mama, what did they do before they invented fun?"

A DIFFERENCE IN PERCEPTION

We were on the way to IKEA with Emily and Jack when Ellery said matter-of-factly to Emily, "Do you smell something awful?  If you do, it's my dress.  It stayed in the washer for a long time and didn't go in the dryer."

Backstory:  Ellery picked out her own clothes and she picked one of her favorite short-sleeved dresses.  I sniffed it and said, "Oh, this doesn't smell very good (explaining about being wet for too long), shall we put it in the wash?"

Ellery sniffed it and replied, "I think it smells wonderful!"  I want to wear it!"

LOOKING FORWARD TO KINDERGARTEN

We were headed for Garfield Elementary where there was to be an orientation for incoming kindergarteners.  Ellery was talking about what she hoped would happen.  I can't remember her exact words but she was hoping she would be "teachened."

FIVE-YEAR-OLD EDITION

Ellery was looking forward to seeing her friend Olivia for the first time since she turned five.  "I hope I'm taller than her now," she said.  

Surprisingly, Olivia was still three inches taller than Ellery, just like she was when Ellery was four.

Ellery tipped over on her stool and the stool fell on top of her.  "Things like that happen all the time to five-year-olds," she said tearfully.

OH, THE INJUSTICE!

I let Ellery stay up a little later than usual because she was so full of high spirits and fun.  When I said it was time for bed, she travelled the distance from the living room to her bedroom on her knees, pleading, "Mercy!  Mercy!  Please, mercy!"

PRESCHOOL WAS GREAT BUT...

An excerpt from Ellery's goodbye/thank you card to her preschool teacher, Mrs. VandenBosch:

"...and I wish we could have done unicorn for U instead of umbrella because I like unicorns."

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

We were headed out to the grocery store when Ellery dawdled in the alley.  "Let's go, honey!"  I urged.  

"Oh!  Sorry Mom!" she replied.  "I was just practicing my pink flower Spring power moves."

FASHION EXPERT

Ellery and Mom were getting ready to go to a yard sale with Dane and Liz.

"Do you need a jacket?" I asked her?

"Yes, I think so," she replied.  Then in an instructive tone she added, "Because the coat always completes the outfit."

MOTHER'S DAY

Ellery's Mother's Day card as dictated to Emily:

Ellery: I love Mommy.  Jackson has a balloon and I'm getting an orange smoothie.

Emily: What do you want to tell Mom about how much you love her?

Ellery:   Tons.  All the way up to my love line.

Emily:   Thank you Mom for...

Ellery:   ...the food that you cook for me for dinner. 

Thanks for playing with me when Dane comes here.

Thanks for being my mommy forever and ever.

And write a picture of me and her hugging each other, will ya?

BE KIND TO YOURSELF

Ellery was speaking softly and tenderly to her freshly scraped knee:

"I'm sorry I falled and hurt you.

A BUDDING SONGWRITER

Ellery was humming quietly to herself and then she brightened and said, "Mom I made up a song that has two parts.  Do you want to sing it with me?"

"Of course!" I replied.  "What's my part?"

With a little shimmy of her shoulders, she instructed, "Possible...Possible...Possible..." giving it a jazzy rhythm with a questioning emphasis on the last syllable.

I imitated as well as I could, including the sassy shake of the shoulders as Ellery joined in with her part, alternating with mine.

"Cracker!  Cracker!  Cracker!"

THE POWER OF ADVERTISING

Ellery looked up from the TV show she was watching and said, "Mom, can you buy me goosey goose?"  

Using my translating skills, I asked, "Juicy juice?"

"Yes," she answered, "So I can shine a little more?  Please?"

BIOLOGY 101?

Ellery:  How do mermaids sleep?

Mom:  I'm not sure.  Maybe it's kind of like how fish sleep.

Ellery:  How do fish sleep?

Mom:  I'm not sure.  I think they kind of just slow down.

Ellery:  But Mom, if you had a robot fish and you put it in the water, it would do everything you command.

SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE SHIKSA

Singing in the car:

"I've got the goy, goy, goy, goy down in my heart..."

NOW'S MY CHANCE!

After being led astray by mapquest, we found our way again, thanks to Glenn's GPS.  When we got to an area that looked familiar, Ellery said, "Finally, we're back to normal."  After a brief pause, she said, "I've always wanted to say that."

TRANSLATOR, PLEASE

How Ellery says certain words:

Flee = Three

Kitten = Chicken (especially interesting when ordering chicken nuggets)

Gunda Gim (hard Gs on both) = Jungle Gym

Ginda Bells = Jingle Bells

Mine = My ("Mine eye! Mine eye!" or "Sometimes mine panties get stuck in mine butt")

Lemlade = Lemonade

Keets = Cheeks

Dup = Jump 

Fetid Keys = Feta Cheese (she loves it)

NEW EVERY MORNING

Ellery said, "Every night my nose grows new boogers and I have to pick them out."

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

I noticed Ellery out of the corner of my eye, hopping and dancing around. I didn't pay much attention until she said plaintively, "Mom, I keep trying to fly but I just can't!

CARIBBEAN EDITION

Ellery was ready for bed and sitting on her bunk in our cabin. She looked solemnly at Anne and said, "GrAnne, I need to ask you something."

"You can ask me anything," Anne answered encouragingly.

(pregnant pause)

"What's two plus nine?"

Uncle Geordie had given Ellery a little gift bag that included an candy dispenser that had a fan on it. Ellery was eager to use it and she asked, "Mom, can you read the destructions?"

Greg was sitting on Gwyneth's lap and looking across the table at Grandma Jean. He noted that her cross was broken. Gwyneth didn't think it was but Greg was sure. After a moment, he said, consolingly, "Well, at least she's still a Christian."

NO, MOM, NO! DON'T SIT ON THAT

After Amelia's Birthday Party

"Mom, you're sitting on my party noiser!"

BACK IN THE OLD DAYS

Glenn was tucking Ellery into bed and telling her a story about when he was a boy. She loves to hear about things that happened when he was little. Tonight's story was about Dad's dog Laddie. Laddie had gotten tangled up with a skunk.

Dad: ...and then I had to give Laddie a bath in tomato juice to try and get rid of the smell.

Ellery: Oh, right. Because you didn't have water back then.

THEOLOGICAL IDEAS

Ellery: God reads about me every day.

Mom: What did He read about you yesterday?

Ellery: I don't remember.

Mom: What did He read about you today?

Ellery: About you! About you swimming! He laughed.

JUST WONDERING

Ellery: Dad, how do you protect pumpkins?

Dad: Pumpkins? Protect then from what?

Ellery: From lots of things! From burglers, bugs, soccer balls...

WHAT GREG SAYS

Ellery's cousin Greg was visiting.

Monica: Do you want sandwiches?

Greg and Ellery: Yes!

Monica: What kind?

Greg: Honey!

Monica: Just honey? No peanut butter or butter?

Greg: Yup. Just honey.

Ellery: Yup. Just honey. I hate peanut butter. (She doesn't)

I quickly whipped up a honey sandwich and cut it in two, giving them each a half.

Greg, approvingly to Ellery: The service here sure is fast!

SIGNS OF SPRING (BUT IT'S STILL WINTER)

On the way to swimming lessons

Ellery was glorying in not wearing a coat. "I'm not cold!" she insisted again and again. On the way to the Y, she sniffed suspiciously and said, "I smell something cold. Is it ice or is it me?"

IF YOU KNEW WHAT I KNEW

At the play "Beauty and the Beast"

Ellery's favorite part of the movie is when the villagers storm the castle and are surprised and soundly defeated by the enchanted furniture and dishes. As the play was building to that moment and the villagers pounded on the castle door, Ellery turned to Emily and shaking her head pityingly said, "Fools."

GHOST STORY

Riding in the car

Ellery: Mom, do you want to hear a story?

Mom: Yes!

Ellery: (In hushed, suspenseful tones) Once upon a time there was a ghost and its name was...(loudly and dramatically)...GHOST HUMAN!

(more details in hushed tones that I couldn't make out)...and its favorite food was...S'MORES!

It could smell the s'mores all through the town. And its favorite dessert was...FISHY CRACKERS!

A TENDER MOMENT

Ellery and Mom were walking to the car from the Y with Emily and Jack. Ellery stumbled and fell and Emily carried her the rest of the way to the car. While she was snuggled in her big sister's arms, Ellery declared, "Emily, I love you more than unicorns! But I really love unicorns."

Emily was left wondering whether Ellery was emphasizing how much she loved Emily or if she was having second thoughts and wanted to assert her loyalty to unicorns.

ADD A LITTLE DRAMA

Ellery called out from the the bathroom in a conversational tone, "My tummy hurts." Then as an afterthought, "The pain! The pain!"

(She was fine and happy when I went in to check.)

REMINISCING

In Ellery's Bedroom

Ellery: When I was three did I sleep in a little bed?

Mom: Yes. You had a toddler bed.

Ellery: What kind of blankets did I have?

Mom: I think you had the same green one you have now, but different sheets.

Ellery: Did I have a pink blanket?

Mom: Yes, you did.

Ellery: (very quietly to herself) Those were the happiest days of my life.

FACE THE MUSIC

We went to the zoo last week. We picked up Emily, Jack and Elu first. As we walked up to Emily's apartment building, I was imagining the pleasant day to come but Ellery paused briefly at the foot of the stairs, and with the air of a condemned prisoner taking that long last walk said, "Well, this is it." She squared her shoulders and walked on.

BAD TRAIN

Ellery got a new train set and she spent a long time playing with it. I found one lonely train car tucked away in a box while the others all went round and round the track. I said, "What about this one?"

Ellery replied scornfully, "That's a mean one. It takes people's wifes."

Then she put it back in the box.

FAVORS

While driving to Costco

Ellery: Mom, please you do two things for me?

Monica: What are the two things?

Ellery: When we get home, please I watch my show and please I have meat?

AFFECTION

While sitting side by side at the computer

Monica: I sure love you.

Ellery: I sure love my stool.