NOT WHAT, BUT WHERE

Mom: What would you like for your birthday?

Ellery: Whatever you get, would you make sure it's made in...CHINA!

IT'S NOT ME, IT'S YOU

I had two-year-old Jack and two-month-old Joey while Emily was at the gym and I also had a very insistent Ellery. "Watch this, Mom! Push me in the swing! Move Jack!"

I gave Jack a snack of goldfish crackers and he wanted to share with Ellery. "I want my own goldfish crackers," she said bossily.

"You're very demanding," I commented.

"Okay, okay," she said. Then, under her breath, "Let just say it's your fault."

BABY STEPS

Ellery hates to get water in her eyes or on her face. During swimming lessons when it was time to put her face in the water, she would just smile sweetly and not do it. The teacher wanted her to blow bubbles in the water and Ellery brought a straw from home so she could blow bubbles without getting her face wet.

Gwyneth and Greg were in the pool and Greg was swimming around like a fish, diving down and paddling happily. Meanwhile, Gwyneth was using all of her considerable persuasive skills to coax Ellery to put her feet in the pool, then to sit on the ladder and then to move a few inches from the ladder.

Liz commented later that she was so impressed at how Greg could swim. Ellery said indignantly, "Aren't you impressed that I put my foot on the second step?"

GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE

Ellery and Mom were on the elevator on the Golden Princess cruise ship. It was formal night and Ellery was wearing a beautiful dress with satisfying amounts of pink fluffiness.

"You look like a princess," and older gentlemen said to Ellery.

"Thank you," she answered demurely. After he exited, she added, "I won't disagree with him."

WHAT WOULD TOM AND PADMA SAY?

Mom: Would you like a bite of my apple pie?

Ellery: Yes please!

Mom: It has vanilla sauce with it.

Ellery: (looking at the plate suspiciously) That's not the vanilla sauce I was dreaming of.

THE SNEAKY CLUB

Ellery: Mom, you're so tricky! You're as tricky as I am!

Mom: Why do you say that?

Ellery: 'Cause when I wanted Moon Sand for Christmas, you said no and then you sneak got it! You're as sneaky as I am. Welcome to the club! (but not the booger picking club)

MY SISTER THE CRACK DEALER

Ellery: Lizzie, why don't you work at the crack shop anymore?

Liz: I don't believe I ever worked at a crack shop!

Mom: What did the crack shop look like?

Ellery: It had lots of cracks (Crocs) in it.

(Liz used to work at a shoe store.)