THE POWER OF ADVERTISING

Ellery looked up from the TV show she was watching and said, "Mom, can you buy me goosey goose?"  

Using my translating skills, I asked, "Juicy juice?"

"Yes," she answered, "So I can shine a little more?  Please?"

BIOLOGY 101?

Ellery:  How do mermaids sleep?

Mom:  I'm not sure.  Maybe it's kind of like how fish sleep.

Ellery:  How do fish sleep?

Mom:  I'm not sure.  I think they kind of just slow down.

Ellery:  But Mom, if you had a robot fish and you put it in the water, it would do everything you command.

SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE SHIKSA

Singing in the car:

"I've got the goy, goy, goy, goy down in my heart..."

NOW'S MY CHANCE!

After being led astray by mapquest, we found our way again, thanks to Glenn's GPS.  When we got to an area that looked familiar, Ellery said, "Finally, we're back to normal."  After a brief pause, she said, "I've always wanted to say that."

TRANSLATOR, PLEASE

How Ellery says certain words:

Flee = Three

Kitten = Chicken (especially interesting when ordering chicken nuggets)

Gunda Gim (hard Gs on both) = Jungle Gym

Ginda Bells = Jingle Bells

Mine = My ("Mine eye! Mine eye!" or "Sometimes mine panties get stuck in mine butt")

Lemlade = Lemonade

Keets = Cheeks

Dup = Jump 

Fetid Keys = Feta Cheese (she loves it)

NEW EVERY MORNING

Ellery said, "Every night my nose grows new boogers and I have to pick them out."

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

I noticed Ellery out of the corner of my eye, hopping and dancing around. I didn't pay much attention until she said plaintively, "Mom, I keep trying to fly but I just can't!

CARIBBEAN EDITION

Ellery was ready for bed and sitting on her bunk in our cabin. She looked solemnly at Anne and said, "GrAnne, I need to ask you something."

"You can ask me anything," Anne answered encouragingly.

(pregnant pause)

"What's two plus nine?"

Uncle Geordie had given Ellery a little gift bag that included an candy dispenser that had a fan on it. Ellery was eager to use it and she asked, "Mom, can you read the destructions?"

Greg was sitting on Gwyneth's lap and looking across the table at Grandma Jean. He noted that her cross was broken. Gwyneth didn't think it was but Greg was sure. After a moment, he said, consolingly, "Well, at least she's still a Christian."